Fear

Warlords of Atlantis - by Luminokaya

I recently introduced a couple close relatives to the world of psychedelics. They had asked me if I knew anything about psilocybin and I ran upstairs, grabbed a jar of mushrooms, and we chatted about the effects, preparation techniques, past experiences, etc. well into the night. It turns out that they had done some previous research and heard about the potential benefits of psilocybin for treating depression, something that they were mildly dealing with and were interested in exploring alterative methods of treatment. Two days later, they were back over for their first trip.

One of the points that I tried to emphasize to them before starting our journey was that it would be a much more positive experience if they could relax and accept whatever happened, knowing that they were in no physical danger and that we had created a very safe space. It is easy to be afraid when your entire mind forgets what is real and it feels like the trip may never end. The best way I've found to deal with it is leaning into whatever comes and trusting that the mushrooms have something to teach you.

As I felt my world start to swirl and my body sink into the mat I was laying on, I put on my eye mask, a tool that I feel helps me go deeper into my mind and eliminate distractions. The dream-like state of imagination took over and I was flying through my mind-cave. I don't remember everything I saw, but I remember encountering several beings in my head that scared me for a moment. However, a very clear thought hit me. There is no such thing as fear of a thing, only fear of the unknown. 

The most vivid moment of the entire experience was while the piano song Sonora by Biba Dupont played. In my mind I saw our group that was sharing this moment together represented as a rope made up of four tightly intertwined strings. I loved the strength of the rope and the bond of the four individual parts together, but as the song came to an end the rope unraveled. With the last few notes, the individual strings dissolved into absolute nothingness and a relief came over me because, even though that rope felt strong and anchoring, it felt so amazing to completely let go and not stress or worry about anything because nothing existed anymore. 

Every fear can be traced back to anxiety about the unknown. We are scared of heights because we could fall and die, throwing us into the unknown of whatever comes after death. We are scared of the dark because we cannot see so we don't know what is around us, we could be at risk of death and we wouldn't know it. We are scared of spiders, loneliness, sickness, enclosed spaces, all because they eventually lead to something that we don't understand.

By accepting that there will always be unknowns and embracing that fact, we can conquer fear. It may take a lifetime to get to that point, but the more we can take risks, make mistakes and realize that things end up being ok, dive headfirst into the unknown at every opportunity, the closer we will get to living a courageous life where fear does not control us.

With every psychedelic experience, I understand this concept a little bit better. While my trip partners did encounter some personal demons and struggle at times to accept the unknown, they got a taste of the power of these mushrooms and how the occasional shift in perspective can open your mind. We shared many bonding moments, laughter, painting, and deep conversation. It ended up being a very positive and certainly unforgettable experience.